Is some goddamned free time, apparently. I gotta thank Colum for inviting me to do this…yeah I do! I had to prove to you readers that I still work here…occasionally. Since Tobin already stole my *bah humbug* attitude and owned it as only he can, I guess I’m stuck actually thinking about stuff I want. I promise it’ll be better than my Dear Santa letter I wrote last year.

The following is an absolute shameless plug to be immediately followed by another absolutely shameless plug.

I do a little more than horror these days. To prove it, my story Stapled is in this fine anthology which has absolutely ZERO horror elements. 44 original erotic stories with all proceeds going toward helping low-income families buy kids school supplies and adults some proper work clothing. My first wish is that everyone reading this will click the link to find out more and possibly pick up a copy.

My second wish is on retainer, because in September 2013 I’ll be in another charity anthology, this one benefitting children as well. The major difference? Death By Drive-In is very much horror and very much based on B-movie cheese that we all love. My story, Man (s)Eater is about a possessed toilet. I sadly don’t have a cover to show everyone, but I’d love it if you’d keep me in mind when Halloween next rolls around.

I gotta call out the usual suspects here, as I want new material from Tobin, Colum, Lydia and Monica and I want it all in the next year. Above and beyond that, I wanna hang out with you crazies again, possibly more often if we can somehow swing that. Readers, if you’ve not had the pleasure of meeting these fine folks, you’re missing out. Colum is the guy who got me to smash my shell, forever breaking the “introverted writer” gimmick that I used to ply. Tobin is not only a kickass writer and editor (just buy Vanishing Hope already), but he’s also the funniest guy I know. Lydia and I are two peas in a non-goth pod. Our chats about everything from music to philosophy to current events have made me a smarter man. Monica is busy as hell with absolutely everything that she’s trying to accomplish, but I hope she knows I consider her a good friend. My third wish is for each of these folks (and every single one of my friends) to have a much better 2013 and to absolutely destroy anything in their path.

My fourth wish is definitely wishful thinking, but we need to stop shitting on indie authors. Yeah, many of us (I’m still self-pubbed) really suck, but there’s more than a few folks out there flipping convention a big ol’ fucking bird. I say we need more of that. I’m getting long with my word count, so here’s a handy list of authors who’ll make your eyes bleed the good blood.

• Red Tash – This Brilliant Darkness was second in sales to 11/23/63 for a whole fucking month. Red writes what I like to call quirky horror, but that’s meant as a compliment. Her stories will snag you.
• Anthony Rapino – Tony writes apocalyptic horror, which might seem cliche but his command of language needs to be enjoyed by a wider audience.
• Julianne Snow – Speaking of apocalyptic, Julie is a fellow Torontonian who was able to quit working real work because her zombie tale, Days With The Undead took off so fast. Her prose is cutting and accurate, leaving just the right amount to the imagination.
• Nearly everyone else involved with the Coffin Hop. I wanna give everyone face-time, but we had 117 authors participate. I say “nearly everyone” because a few of those links don’t belong to authors/artists/anyone into horror. Hey, we managed to snag John Everson‘s participation two years in a row.

This is becoming a wall, and I can see Colum’s editorial brow furrowing as I type. I’ll finish with two DVDs that I actually am asking Santa for: The Devil’s Carnival and Dead Hooker In A Trunk.

Thanks to everyone here at DT, as well as readers, fans and friends for making this a great year. However you celebrate the holidays, do it in style.