Guess what? Today is Colum’s 30th Birthday so we’re gonna throw a party and y’all are invited! We got some of our nearest and dearest together to wish our main man a “Big ol’ Happy 30th!” and we encourage you to do the same in the comments. Cake and 40’s will be served shortly. Here we go!
“If I didn’t start hanging out in the reading threads of the Rue Morgue Mortuary, Rue Morgue Magazine’s message board, I wouldn’t have met Colum. If I hadn’t met Colum, I probably wouldn’t be reading all the fantastic horror fiction that I do and I definitely wouldn’t be writing this greeting right now. So, here’s to you, dear friend, for opening my eyes to a wide world of genre literature and encouraging me to embrace my love of horror in new ways! I hope you have a great 30th birthday and wish you many many more!”
“Colum is the king of unlikelihood and contradictions. He’s an art nerd who looks like a biker. A tough guy who’s afraid of boogers. An aging (yeah, I said it!) punk rocker in an office job. And he’s got a lot of things all wrong – for example, he’s operating under the baffling idea that Star Trek is superior to Star Wars and that Gangs of New York was a tolerable movie (feel free to let him know how wrong he really is, by the way…I’m sure he’d enjoy that). Somehow he’s managing to enjoy some decent writing successes on the site and elsewhere despite the fact that he uses too many commas and doesn’t always follow my excellent editorial advice.Despite these apparent deficiencies in judgment, he’s a pretty awesome guy all around. I still like him after all these years even though his shoes are stinky and he moves the seat in my car and NEVER PUTS IT BACK. Not that I’m holding a grudge or anything.So I want to wish a big, loud, obnoxious happy birthday to a badass husband and father, the fun and hardworking guy we all know and love! Thirty is just a number…awesome is forever.”
“Well our lil’ boy is all grownst up. Imagine that! When I found out that Colum was such a young pup, I was floored because the man speaks with a certain confidence that betrays his age. He was the man that brought this whole Dreadful Tales thing together and for that, I will be forever in his debt. He not only got this site going but he continues to be our inspiration on a daily basis. As a friend and colleague Colum continues to challenge and push me in ways that very few people can. Simply put, he is a very rare breed.
So here’s to you, my friend! Happy 30th Birthday!”
But don’t take our word for it! Look who else wanted to wish The Dreadful C a Happy Birthday……
“Thirty years old. Wow. That’s when your bones start to pop out of your skin for no reason, and your eyeballs don’t fit properly in their sockets anymore, and sand starts pouring out of random orifices, and even your TONGUE feels old. Dark times are ahead, sir. Dark times.
However, it actually takes a couple of days after your thirtieth birthday to really kick in, so until then, happy birthday, Colum!!!”
“Colum is 30? Man. Just 36 more years before you’re 2/3 the number of the beast! It’s been an honor to know you in your younger years! Wish I was there to buy you one, but instead, I’ll just have to hoist a Newcastle in your honor.
“Colum is one of the true good guys, not only in the horror genre but in life. I’ve never seen a more supportive or passionate friend. Colum, I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you have a kick-ass birthday. Happy birthday, man!”
“Colum, it is my sincere hope that you have the most DEPRAVED birthday of your life. Hope it’s a good one.”
“I’m lucky enough to know Colum from both the professional and personal side of life, so I’ll try to say a little about both. Colum, you’ve been a complete class act each and every time we’ve interacted in a business setting. The success you and Dreadful Tales have experienced thus far is a mere drop in the bucket of what’s to come, and much of it is due to your vision, integrity and dedication.
Outside of this insane business, you’ve quickly become one of my closest friends, and one of my newfound inspirations. Your brash charm and rapier wit keep everyone on their toes and laughing. I’m incredibly proud to know you and call you a friend. From Kiddo and myself, have a very Happy 30th Birthday.”
“Happy damn birthday to Toronto’s coolest cat: the one, the only, SIR COLUM MCKNIGHT!”
“Happy birthday to my critical McKnight in shining armor!”
“Stop smoking. I did, and I deal with a helluva lot more than you do in big bad Toronto.”
“Give the kids some NyQuil, put ’em to bed early, and party hard all night with your old lady!”
“Do what Johnny says, or he’ll kick your ass as bad as he kicked mine.”
—The Sinister Mr. Corpse