Happy Birthday, Colum!

Guess what? Today is Colum’s 30th Birthday so we’re gonna throw a party and y’all are invited! We got some of our nearest and dearest together to wish our main man a “Big ol’ Happy 30th!” and we encourage you to do the same in the comments. Cake and 40’s will be served shortly. Here we go!

“If I didn’t start hanging out in the reading threads of the Rue Morgue Mortuary, Rue Morgue Magazine’s message board, I wouldn’t have met Colum. If I hadn’t met Colum, I probably wouldn’t be reading all the fantastic horror fiction that I do and I definitely wouldn’t be writing this greeting right now. So, here’s to you, dear friend, for opening my eyes to a wide world of genre literature and encouraging me to embrace my love of horror in new ways! I hope you have a great 30th birthday and wish you many many more!”

Meli YOROSHIKU

“Colum is the king of unlikelihood and contradictions. He’s an art nerd who looks like a biker. A tough guy who’s afraid of boogers. An aging (yeah, I said it!) punk rocker in an office job. And he’s got a lot of things all wrong – for example, he’s operating under the baffling idea that Star Trek is superior to Star Wars and that Gangs of New York was a tolerable movie (feel free to let him know how wrong he really is, by the way…I’m sure he’d enjoy that). Somehow he’s managing to enjoy some decent writing successes on the site and elsewhere despite the fact that he uses too many commas and doesn’t always follow my excellent editorial advice.
Despite these apparent deficiencies in judgment, he’s a pretty awesome guy all around. I still like him after all these years even though his shoes are stinky and he moves the seat in my car and NEVER PUTS IT BACK. Not that I’m holding a grudge or anything.
So I want to wish a big, loud, obnoxious happy birthday to a badass husband and father, the fun and hardworking guy we all know and love! Thirty is just a number…awesome is forever.”
–Shelagh

“Well our lil’ boy is all grownst up.  Imagine that! When I found out that Colum was such a young pup, I was floored because the man speaks with a certain confidence that betrays his age.  He was the man that brought this whole Dreadful Tales thing together and for that, I will be forever in his debt.  He not only got this site going but he continues to be our inspiration on a daily basis.  As a friend and colleague Colum continues to challenge and push me in ways that very few people can.  Simply put, he is a very rare breed.

So here’s to you, my friend!  Happy 30th Birthday!”

Pat Dreadful 

But don’t take our word for it!  Look who else wanted to wish The Dreadful C a Happy Birthday……

“Thirty years old. Wow. That’s when your bones start to pop out of your skin for no reason, and your eyeballs don’t fit properly in their sockets anymore, and sand starts pouring out of random orifices, and even your TONGUE feels old. Dark times are ahead, sir. Dark times.

However, it actually takes a couple of days after your thirtieth birthday to really kick in, so until then, happy birthday, Colum!!!”

Jeff Strand, author of Pressure, Dweller, and Wolf Hunt

“Colum is 30? Man. Just 36 more years before you’re 2/3 the number of the beast! It’s been an honor to know you in your younger years! Wish I was there to buy you one, but instead, I’ll just have to hoist a Newcastle in your honor.

Happy Horribles,”

John Everson, author of The 13th, Siren, and The Pumpkin Man

“Colum is one of the true good guys, not only in the horror genre but in life. I’ve never seen a more supportive or passionate friend. Colum, I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you have a kick-ass birthday. Happy birthday, man!”

Neal Hock, proprietor of Hock’s Editing Service and the always awesome Bookhound’s Den

“Colum, it is my sincere hope that you have the most DEPRAVED birthday of your life. Hope it’s a good one.”

Bryan Smith, author of Darkened, House of Blood, Bloodrush and many other fine titles

“I’m lucky enough to know Colum from both the professional and personal side of life, so I’ll try to say a little about both. Colum, you’ve been a complete class act each and every time we’ve interacted in a business setting. The success you and Dreadful Tales have experienced thus far is a mere drop in the bucket of what’s to come, and much of it is due to your vision, integrity and dedication.

Outside of this insane business, you’ve quickly become one of my closest friends, and one of my newfound inspirations. Your brash charm and rapier wit keep everyone on their toes and laughing. I’m incredibly proud to know you and call you a friend. From Kiddo and myself, have a very Happy 30th Birthday.”

Jason Darrick, author of Fear in Words Vol. 1- The Stories and Fear in Words Vol II- The Poems

“Happy damn birthday to Toronto’s coolest cat: the one, the only, SIR COLUM MCKNIGHT!”

Ed Kurtz, author of Bleed and Sawbones

“Happy birthday to my critical McKnight in shining armor!”

Greg Lamberson, author of The Jake Helman Files, The Frenzy Way and Johnny Gruesome

“Stop smoking. I did, and I deal with a helluva lot more than you do in big bad Toronto.”

Jake Helman

“Give the kids some NyQuil, put ’em to bed early, and party hard all night with your old lady!”

Johnny Gruesome

“Do what Johnny says, or he’ll kick your ass as bad as he kicked mine.”

The Sinister Mr. Corpse

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About Pat Dreadful

Father of three. Impregnator of one. Pat lives in the backwoods of Pennsylvania where he splits his time between moonshining and moonlighting. He used to be the sole proprietor of a funky little site called Grade Z Horror but jumped at the chance to work with Meli and Colum. He was raised on King and Crichton but quickly found true salvation in the works of Ketchum and Laymon. When not selling plasma to afford those highly sought after Jeff Strand limited editions, Pat can be found sitting on his back porch with a pipe full of Perique and the sounds of summer coming through a beat up transistor radio. Simply put, he is a true ramblin’ boy of pleasure. The books that have shaped Pat’s warped lil’ ol’ mind have included Dweller by Jeff Strand, It by Stephen King, Boy’s Life by Robert McCammon, The Traveling Vampire Show by Richard Laymon and The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum. Pat is always on the lookout for a good coming-of-age yarn so shoot your suggestions to PatDreadful@gmail.com You can also follow his unsavory exploits over at theblackwoodsbible.wordpress.com

10 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Colum!

  1. Wow… Just… Wow…

    Comma comma comma

    Wow. I’m absolutely speechless. Thank you all for this incredible roast/tribute. And Pat, you’re fired. I love you, dude.

    • We WILL meet, one day. I’ll make sure of it. You’re a killer person. I can’t help but gravitate towards badass folks like you. Read something terrifying for me today. 🙂

  2. This is amazing and truly fitting for such an epic dude. Have the happiest birthday, my friend! We know that mentally, you ain’t never growing up 😉 love ya!! xoxo

    • Thanks, man. I’m so stoked that so many AMAZING people are wishing me well. This is seriously a dream come true. And I’m a big nerd. 😉

  3. October is an awesome month to have a birthday because you get to celebrate it along with Halloween! I wish you a fabulous birthday, sir, and am not the least surprise to see all the well wishes from so many here and on Facebook. You’re a true gent and a class act. All the best!

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